Friday, January 16, 2009

Three Years and Counting

Three years ago today I set out on a journey to change my life, for the last two years I have beat myself up because I felt like I hadn't completed the journey.
I'll explain . . I had gastric bypass surgery three years ago today but never reached the goal I had set for myself, in fact at one time I was so close to my goal and than the one thing I thought I had under control wasn't . . I thought I had the emotional eating thing licked, no problem, I can handle anything and then my son went to Iraq . . . the thing I thought I had beaten had a hold of me like never before. I tried to act like I was so cool, like I knew God was his personal angel and that he was sure to be protected at all times . . . but I feared every minute the opposite . . . every black car that passed my house I thought for sure was the "one" coming to see me . . . I had bad dreams that I never shared with even my sisters or closest friends. I didn't want anyone to see my weakness, my fears but if I had been realistic I could see that they were seeing the 20 lbs I had gained and maybe even feared that I would continue to climb in weight. Not to mention that my daughter was traveling the world and on most days I wasn't sure where she was and my grand daughter had moved out of my house and was on a journey of her own.

I have not given myself much credit for my victories the last few years but today I am!
I am a success even if just in my own world;

1) I have kept my weight gain at 20 lbs or less, something I could have never done in the other life.
2) I am off all prescription medication
3) I can move like never before, even with the arthritis
4) I'm no longer a size 30/32, but wear a 16
5) I no longer have multiple chins

I think if I really put my mind and heart into it the list would be endless . . so on my three year anniversary of my surgery I'm going to stop looking at what I didn't accomplish and celebrate all that I did!


  1. Wow. I now know where Jess gets her writing skills from. You really know how to make a girl on hormones cry!!! I love you, you are an inspiration to me, and don't ever forget that. You have done so many positive things for so many people that I don't think you give yourself enough credit. From worring about Kev in Iraq, to practically raising our little Hanna and then there's Jess the world traveler. You've raised 2 wonderful kids and fought like hell to get a good job. You,ve done good and it doesn't go unnoticed. Love you #1

  2. I am so proud of youi for putting your feelings out there. As for the weight gain...I sure never saw it, I only see a someone who has worked so hard to get to where she is in life. I think deep down we all knew you were putting a front up when Kev was gone, my God I cannot imagine the fear you lived with. I am also so glad that you get to finally be a grandma in the true sense, pretty awesome isn't it. I could never be more proud or inspried. Thanks for always being there for me in ever way. I love you more than you know. #3